A rather grandiose title, indeed. More like Onions instead of Cabbages but the point is, I feel, valid.
I did the cooking tonight, as is my wont when we’re hungry and in dire need of some good solid grub. Tonights Royal Bill of Fare consisted of Mash (Maris Pipers, boiled to buggery, lots of butter and a splash of milk, salt ‘n’ pepper and a damned good thrashing with the masher) and Veggeterrorist Bangers for Maddy, Chicken (baked in Olive Oil, dash of pepper/chilli powder) for me and to top it off…. Onion Gravy!
“Cor Yum!” quoth us both as we dined upon a meal fit for, well, me. Us, even.
Now, let us wind back in time a bit to the preparation of the aforementioned Alliuminal addition…
*ahem* sorry, tape’s stuck in the projector - won’t be a tic, guv.
*flapflapflapflapflap*
Nearly got it… there! Orf yer go then, squire.
…I’d carefully prepared the grub and was Ready To Cook. Not an exercise to be undertaken lightly, of course. I’ve seen CRAppy work himself into a right lather just to make Bacon Butties, so it was with no small amount of trepidation that I carefully sliced and diced an onion and put the pan on with a bit of oil to fry the bejaysus out of this ‘ere onion. Then I chose to sit down for a bit whilst the oil was warming up. Well, I can tell you lot can see where this is going, so I’ll spare myself the effort and simply skip straight to the bit that goes:
“I’m just glad Olive Oil smells really bad when it catches fire so you can do a really speedy dash to the kitchen to put the fire out” and leave it at that.
Thankfully, the projector seems to be in no need of working-class maintenance, so we’ll spool further on to The Fillum.
Having been really good with our pennies for aaaaaaaaaaaaages, we decided to get a couple of DVDs in. Good old Blockbuster: three fillums for a week for just one single, solitary fiver of the first order of crispitude. Splendid! We rented Welcome To Collinwood, Nathalie and The Gift, the latter being our fillum of choice for tonight and betcha-by-golly-wow it ain’t arf a corker! A Right Royal Bollock-Gripper and no mistake, so it is! Somehow, I have no idea quite how exactly, I managed to get some dust or something in not one but both eyes right at the end. How odd! A striking co-incidence, isn’t it? For some reason The Light Of My Life found this terribly amusing and nearly gave herself a hernia. Jolly unsporting, I call it.
And finally, I shall be absent for a little while as I’m orf up to see my dear friends Capn H. T. Thirst and the Delightful Trouty this weekend! Hoorah! It’ll be delightful to see this particular brace of chummingtons again! Shame Maddy can’t come, but there’s Dancing to be done and done it shall be. Still; it does mean she gets a relatively methane-free weekend for a change, poor love.
‹Has thoroughly murdered first ever saucepan - vows to take more care with the remaining three and to never ever try cheating at the DUG again›
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