I did it! A bit of chain-drilling and the bottom fell off nice and easy, like.*

Taking it down the allotment caused something of a stir: as I hauled the monster out of the boot of the T mobile, this was the apparant cue for lots of old people to stand, hands on hips, and stare (quite rudely, too).
Still, the starers were from the Other Side of the allotments so they’ve never met me before. I suspect the regular This Side lads will be quite amused when I see them tomorrow.

‹Has already half-filled it with a load of old weeds and stuff›

*With just a gentle nudge from my spade.

I’ve got my DIY hat on this weekend.

So far I have made, apart from a bit of a mess*, a Ginormous Cat Scratcher!
Instead of paying oooh, about a million pounds for such a thing, I’ve made one for the princely sum of thirteen squids! It’s made out of carpet off-cuts, a gert big cardboard tube (left over from the roll of fabric T used to re-cover the sofa) a massive slab of chipboard and a load of no-more-nails. Oh, and string. And a few brackets and screws and stuff. And some real nails.
Anyway, I’m quite pleased with the end result and so is Bez. Lookit!

There’s a bit of catnip on there at the moment so’s the mogs get the hang of it. Unfortunately, in Bez’s case, that sends him as mad as a box of frogs but at least he now has a scratching post to take it out on instead of our legs/arms/faces.

My next project, which will commence directly I have enscoffified a couple of bacon sangers, will be my compost bin.
‘What’s to drill and hammer there?’ I hear you ask. Well, I’ll tell you: a Wheelie Bin! Yes, that’s right, I’m going to lop the bottom off an old wheelie bin to make a good-sized composter. I shall also be using the bottom to make a handy little weeding trolley for the plot: much better than lugging a gert heavy wheel barrow about and it also means if any of this gets nicked from the plot, it won’t really matter because I paid absolutely sweet FA for the wheelie bin

‹Admires nails and wonders if they really ought to be protruding that far out›

*Ahem. Good job I’m handy with a dustpan and brush.

When I move into my little flat, just over 5 years ago, I planned to only stay here for 5 years before upgrading to a nicerer, biggerer place with a garden, somewhere that I can really settle down.

I like sticking to plans, so to this end I have an Esatanist Agent coming round during the week to do a ‘market appraisal’.
There’s still a lot to do to the flat (bathroom, kitchen) but hey, we can spend a year saving up to finish it off I guess.

I just hope the flat is worth significantly more than it was 5 years ago ‘cos then we’ll be able to get a fabby house in or near Tadley which is:
a) cheap
b) peaceful
c) easily commutable to Southampton

The only downside to moving away from Southampton is that I would have to surrender my allotment. Hmmmm.

‹Prepares self for noble sacrifice - can turn entire garden into veg plot anyway›