Hutters The Cad tagged me, the rotten swine.
Rules:
Link to the tagger and post these rules on your blog.
Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird (in my case, guess which one is a work of fiction).
Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

#1
When I was 6 years old, I shaved our cat with my Dad’s electric razor. She’d just been ‘done’ and had a shaved patch, so I thought I’d be kind and get her fur all the same length. I didn’t, as you might expect, make a great deal of progress.

#2
I have been ticked off by the Rozzers on three separate occasions, each time involving the questions:
‘Is this your vehicle, sir?’
‘Why are your parked here in this darkened laybay at 2 in the morning?’
‘Why are your windows steamed up?’
‘I hope you’re behaving like a gentleman with this young lady?’ (definitely a question, that one).

#3
I am a Son, a Brother, a Nephew, an Uncle and a Godfather, but not a Father. One day I hope to collect the whole set of “Best [insert familial title here] In The World!” mugs, but that might involve the world having to tolerate a smaller version of me. With extra snot.

#4
I used to walk into things as a child because those oh-so-caring NHS people insisted I wear an eye-patch over my good eye and they didn’t even try to get me to pretend I was a Pirate.

#5
I spent a year in Australia and didn’t see a single lethal insect, arachnid, reptile or even mammal. I would have complained to the Australian Embassy on my return to Blighty but they were all down the pub, serving pints.

And now, the unlucky winners of a Sepcial Golden Tag, lovingly hand-crafted in Sweden by naked Hamadryads…

*Rustles golden envelope - hurries, because he wants it back after the show*

…and the winners are:

Loretta The Mad Cat Lady Of Old Tadley Town.

Fatty Benchbuckle SimonG, World-Renowned Cartoonist And Trombone Player.

Merman, the sweet-soap-selling Mad Bag Man Of Grantham.

Kouros “it’s-nothing-to-do-with-aftershave-I-don’t-even-smell-nice!” of Bondage For Beginners plc

And last but by no means least; that wonderful all-rounder, CleverTrouserer and good-time charlie, el10t “my cat is l337 so ph34r me, beyatch” of March House!

Laydeez an’ Gennlemen, a big hand for our simply MARvellous winners!

‹exeunt stage left: trips and falls into orchestra pit›